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Post by ant-mac on Oct 26, 2021 3:24:14 GMT
Guy hears about a prostitute at a local motel, so he goes and knocks on the door. A voice answers, asking what he wants.
Guy: "I want to get fucked."
Voice: "Sure, slide $20 under the door."
The guy slides it under, stands and waits. After a few minutes pass and the door still hasn't opened, he knocks again...
Guy: "I said, I'm here to get fucked!"
Voice: "What, again?"
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Post by ant-mac on Oct 27, 2021 9:07:23 GMT
A man comes home from work and his wife is packing a bag.
Man: Where are you going?
Wife: I saw on Oprah that in Las Vegas I can get $500 for what I’ve been giving you for free.
Man starts packing his bag.
Wife: where are you going?
Man: With you. I have to see how you’re going to live on $500 per year.
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Post by ant-mac on Oct 27, 2021 11:44:51 GMT
In the Army, if you lose your rifle, they charge you $85.
That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.
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Post by Prometheus on Nov 26, 2021 3:56:33 GMT
Why isn't prostitution legal?
Because when a hooker blows a politician, it puts a lobbyist out of work.
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Post by Prometheus on Nov 26, 2021 4:39:51 GMT
Memo to SJWs:
When what you're doing sounds like an Onion headline...
STOP!
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Post by Prometheus on Nov 26, 2021 5:01:01 GMT
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Post by Prometheus on Nov 26, 2021 5:12:36 GMT
The wife said” here’s £20, get the dog a warm jacket, if there’s any money left’ get yourself a beer.  |
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Post by abbey1227 on Nov 29, 2021 3:44:02 GMT
The wife said” here’s £20, get the dog a warm jacket, if there’s any money left’ get yourself a beer.
The wife said” here’s $20, get us a nativity scene, if there’s any money left’ get yourself some beer.
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Post by abbey1227 on Dec 2, 2021 1:58:19 GMT
BREAKING NEWS! A man was admitted to the emergency room with 27 plastic toy horses inserted into his rectum. Doctors have described his current condition as stable.  |
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Post by abbey1227 on Dec 8, 2021 10:59:18 GMT
One last kiss........
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Post by Prometheus on Dec 13, 2021 5:15:46 GMT
Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 13, 2021 22:31:47 GMT
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Post by abbey1227 on Dec 14, 2021 0:11:38 GMT
Domestic violence: It's cute when THEY do it  |
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 14, 2021 0:26:15 GMT
Domestic violence: It's cute when THEY do it Oh, if she wants to take a swing at me, good luck to her. But if anyone tries to damage my personal property, they'll find themselves in a shallow grave. No one fucks with my stuff. |
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Post by abbey1227 on Dec 14, 2021 0:32:10 GMT
Domestic violence: It's cute when THEY do it Oh, if she wants to take a swing at me, good luck to her. But if anyone tries to damage my personal property, they'll find themselves in a shallow grave.
No one fucks with my stuff.
Wha?
How can you be so aggressive and defensive towards property and material things?
It's not like it's ever anything as valuable as a single human life, right? |
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 14, 2021 0:38:11 GMT
Oh, if she wants to take a swing at me, good luck to her. But if anyone tries to damage my personal property, they'll find themselves in a shallow grave.
No one fucks with my stuff.
Wha?
How can you be so aggressive and defensive towards property and material things?
It's not like it's ever anything as valuable as a single human life, right? To be perfectly frank, I value my personal property and material things above almost all other Human life. And while that may make me sound like a cold and uncaring cunt, at least I'm honest. |
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Post by abbey1227 on Dec 14, 2021 0:39:09 GMT
Is this YOUR kind of humor? Or are you more well adjusted than that?  |
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Post by abbey1227 on Dec 14, 2021 0:40:19 GMT
To be perfectly frank, I value my personal property and material things above almost all other Human life. And while that may make me sound like a cold and uncaring cunt, at least I'm honest.
I'll take honesty over any of those sloppy emotions any day of the week.
If they valued their own lives, they wouldn't be F'n with your shit.
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 14, 2021 0:50:28 GMT
To be perfectly frank, I value my personal property and material things above almost all other Human life. And while that may make me sound like a cold and uncaring cunt, at least I'm honest.
I'll take honesty over any of those sloppy emotions any day of the week.
If they valued their own lives, they wouldn't be F'n with your shit.
Exactly... I don't fuck with their shit and I expect the same in return. I do accept that accidents can happen... but my patience and forgiveness have their limits. |
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 14, 2021 0:51:28 GMT
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![[cheers]](http://storage.proboards.com/7182076/images/engyBVslEdpmpmdnBwZQ.gif)
