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Post by ant-mac on Dec 11, 2022 23:35:31 GMT
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 11, 2022 23:35:56 GMT
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 11, 2022 23:36:18 GMT
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 11, 2022 23:36:52 GMT
Never trust atoms... they make up everything.
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 11, 2022 23:37:18 GMT
My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the ceiling!
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 11, 2022 23:37:50 GMT
Russian dolls are so full of themselves.
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 11, 2022 23:38:12 GMT
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast.
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 11, 2022 23:38:35 GMT
Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak.
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 11, 2022 23:38:59 GMT
A termite walks into the bar and asks, ‘Is the bar tender here?’
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 11, 2022 23:39:49 GMT
Told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 11, 2022 23:40:11 GMT
Two fish are in a tank. One says, ‘How do you drive this thing?’
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 11, 2022 23:41:03 GMT
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Post by ant-mac on Dec 12, 2022 0:14:32 GMT
Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
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Post by abbey1227 on Dec 13, 2022 6:09:10 GMT
Volkswagen of Italy's Instagram handle.......... volkswagenitalia
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Post by abbey1227 on Dec 26, 2022 4:24:54 GMT
Just in time for Xmas...... Prosthetic leg for sale!
Makes a great stocking stuffer
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Post by abbey1227 on Dec 28, 2022 23:43:15 GMT
All new Russian advent calendars.
Every time you open a window, another Russian oligarch falls out.
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Post by abbey1227 on Jan 3, 2023 9:26:42 GMT
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.
I'm stealing this one. 
I kinda long for the days before political correctness.
When kids could just go outside by themselves and play Livestock Management Technicians and Indigenous People all day.
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Post by abbey1227 on Jan 3, 2023 9:30:21 GMT
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Post by ant-mac on Jan 3, 2023 10:32:45 GMT
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.
I'm stealing this one.
I kinda long for the days before political correctness.
When kids could just go outside by themselves and play Livestock Management Technicians and Indigenous People all day. What about law enforcement officers and illegal property removalists? |
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Post by abbey1227 on Jan 3, 2023 11:15:05 GMT
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![[cheers]](http://storage.proboards.com/7182076/images/engyBVslEdpmpmdnBwZQ.gif)
Jun 1, 2022 23:27:03 GMT
Jun 1, 2022 23:27:03 GMT