Limericks!

[Prometheus]

Let's start with a classic:

There once was a man from Nantucket

Whose dick was so long he could suck it

He said with a grin

As he wiped off his chin

If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it.

[Prometheus]

There once was a runner named Dwight
Who could speed even faster than light
He set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night

[Prometheus]

There was an old hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
He said, "I admit"
"I'm a bit of a shit"
"But think of the money I save."

[Prometheus]

There was an old lady from Ghent,
Who slept on a bed of cement.
Her bed was well used,
And her body well bruised,
And the back of her head had a dent.

[Prometheus]

There once was a man from Kanass,
Who's nuts were made out of brass.
In stormy weather,
He'd clack them together,
And lightning shot out of his ass.

[Prometheus]

The was a young sailor from Brighton,
Who said to his girl, "You've a tight one."
She cried, "Oh my soul!"
"You're in the wrong hole."
"There's plenty of room in the right one."

[Prometheus]

The lass I brought home was a prize,
With bright, alluring blue eyes.
Her breasts, so well kept
Were what I'd expect,
But her penis was quite a surprise!

[Prometheus]

There once was a man named Sweeney,
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
And slipped his date a martini.

[Prometheus]

A lady once triplets begat.
She named them Nat, Pat, and Tat
She had fun breeding.
The trouble was feeding.
There was simply no tit for Tat.

[Prometheus]

If intercourse causes thrombosis
While abstinence causes neurosis
I'd prefer to expire
Fulfilling desire
Than live in a state of psychosis.

[ant-mac]

A favourite past time of this Yank's,
Was to stroll around old river banks.
One time in the grass,
He trod on an arse,
And heard a girl's voice murmur, "Thanks."

[ant-mac]

There was an old fellow from Gaul,
Who had an hexagonal ball.
One cube of its weight,
Was the other plus eight,
Plus three-fifths of seven-eights of fuck all.

[ant-mac]

There was a young man named O'Doul,
Who found a red ring round his tool.
The doctor, a cynic,
Said, "Get out of the clinic,"
That's just lipstick, you fool."

[Prometheus]

Here's to the girl named Louise
Who's pubic hair hung to her knees
The crabs came together,
And knitted a sweater
So in Winter her cunt would not freeze!