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Post by spitfire926f on Apr 18, 2023 2:31:20 GMT
I think I want to seduce my old boss. Well, I know I do, but I'm not sure if I should.
Maybe. I'm trying talk this out to myself and really explore my own reasons and motivations.
I had an in-service at work on Thursday. I ended up in an elevator with my former unit manager. He wasn't expecting to see me. I don't know how to explain it, but I could feel his heart stop when he saw me. I kind of knew by the way he acted when he found out about my transfer off his unit that there might be something there. He took it really personally. I didn't want to assume anything though, so I chalked it up to our history of having worked together at another hospital 17-years-ago as well. The look on his face when he saw me Thursday and the conversation that followed left no doubt. I ended up picking up a 3-11 shift on my former unit tomorrow. I'll probably see him before he leaves.
Relationships between supervisors and subordinates are verboten. He could get fired for an affair with someone on his unit. And IIRC, there was someone in the building that was let go for just this reason. But there was also drama surrounding it. I don't technically work on his unit anymore though. And I can keep a secret. Regardless, I know I will have to initiate this and do the leg work to make it happen.
So my motivation is yes, I need the distraction and the comfort. It's sort of like getting a puppy but with potentially less commitment. But I do care about him. I've known him a long time. And it's hard for me to think of offering to spend the night with a healthy adult man as something that's selfish. There are no rules. If he doesn't like it he never has to do it again. But maybe we catch fire and set our corner of the world ablaze for awhile. Maybe it settles down into the long, steady burn of a candle flame, who knows? That's the point. It's the journey, not the destination.
But this is also why I'm bad at love, terrible with men, and you'll never find me on a dating site. I don't take applications for a partner, I wait for serendipity and seek a flame. The way this man looked at me was flint hitting steel. And I know he cares about me.
But am I being fair to him? This all seems completely reasonable to me. If I get him outside of work, he can always turn down my advances.
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Post by gardengirl1953 on Apr 18, 2023 15:50:14 GMT
I think I want to seduce my old boss. Well, I know I do, but I'm not sure if I should. Maybe. I'm trying talk this out to myself and really explore my own reasons and motivations. I had an in-service at work on Thursday. I ended up in an elevator with my former unit manager. He wasn't expecting to see me. I don't know how to explain it, but I could feel his heart stop when he saw me. I kind of knew by the way he acted when he found out about my transfer off his unit that there might be something there. He took it really personally. I didn't want to assume anything though, so I chalked it up to our history of having worked together at another hospital 17-years-ago as well. The look on his face when he saw me Thursday and the conversation that followed left no doubt. I ended up picking up a 3-11 shift on my former unit tomorrow. I'll probably see him before he leaves. Relationships between supervisors and subordinates are verboten. He could get fired for an affair with someone on his unit. And IIRC, there was someone in the building that was let go for just this reason. But there was also drama surrounding it. I don't technically work on his unit anymore though. And I can keep a secret. Regardless, I know I will have to initiate this and do the leg work to make it happen. So my motivation is yes, I need the distraction and the comfort. It's sort of like getting a puppy but with potentially less commitment. But I do care about him. I've known him a long time. And it's hard for me to think of offering to spend the night with a healthy adult man as something that's selfish. There are no rules. If he doesn't like it he never has to do it again. But maybe we catch fire and set our corner of the world ablaze for awhile. Maybe it settles down into the long, steady burn of a candle flame, who knows? That's the point. It's the journey, not the destination. But this is also why I'm bad at love, terrible with men, and you'll never find me on a dating site. I don't take applications for a partner, I wait for serendipity and seek a flame. The way this man looked at me was flint hitting steel. And I know he cares about me. But am I being fair to him? This all seems completely reasonable to me. If I get him outside of work, he can always turn down my advances. Same with me, but my flame days are over, at my age. No estrogen left, so I have no drive to work at a relationship. And my marriage was a good one; truly the best relationship of my life, and that was pure luck. So I stick to kittens and baby goats and dogs, their love is untainted and pure friendship, and that is all I need. I'd probably just screw up another attempt, which I did after my husband died. He wanted me to find someone, get married and be happy, as if that is how simple it is, and each of my choices fell far short and I just called it quits. But you are young, yet. Up to you to give it a try, and I hope, if you do, it goes well! |
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Post by spitfire926f on Apr 19, 2023 4:45:48 GMT
I think I want to seduce my old boss. Well, I know I do, but I'm not sure if I should. Maybe. I'm trying talk this out to myself and really explore my own reasons and motivations. I had an in-service at work on Thursday. I ended up in an elevator with my former unit manager. He wasn't expecting to see me. I don't know how to explain it, but I could feel his heart stop when he saw me. I kind of knew by the way he acted when he found out about my transfer off his unit that there might be something there. He took it really personally. I didn't want to assume anything though, so I chalked it up to our history of having worked together at another hospital 17-years-ago as well. The look on his face when he saw me Thursday and the conversation that followed left no doubt. I ended up picking up a 3-11 shift on my former unit tomorrow. I'll probably see him before he leaves. Relationships between supervisors and subordinates are verboten. He could get fired for an affair with someone on his unit. And IIRC, there was someone in the building that was let go for just this reason. But there was also drama surrounding it. I don't technically work on his unit anymore though. And I can keep a secret. Regardless, I know I will have to initiate this and do the leg work to make it happen. So my motivation is yes, I need the distraction and the comfort. It's sort of like getting a puppy but with potentially less commitment. But I do care about him. I've known him a long time. And it's hard for me to think of offering to spend the night with a healthy adult man as something that's selfish. There are no rules. If he doesn't like it he never has to do it again. But maybe we catch fire and set our corner of the world ablaze for awhile. Maybe it settles down into the long, steady burn of a candle flame, who knows? That's the point. It's the journey, not the destination. But this is also why I'm bad at love, terrible with men, and you'll never find me on a dating site. I don't take applications for a partner, I wait for serendipity and seek a flame. The way this man looked at me was flint hitting steel. And I know he cares about me. But am I being fair to him? This all seems completely reasonable to me. If I get him outside of work, he can always turn down my advances. Same with me, but my flame days are over, at my age. No estrogen left, so I have no drive to work at a relationship. And my marriage was a good one; truly the best relationship of my life, and that was pure luck. So I stick to kittens and baby goats and dogs, their love is untainted and pure friendship, and that is all I need. I'd probably just screw up another attempt, which I did after my husband died. He wanted me to find someone, get married and be happy, as if that is how simple it is, and each of my choices fell far short and I just called it quits. But you are young, yet. Up to you to give it a try, and I hope, if you do, it goes well! I appreciate the reply. I was afraid maybe I had overshared. I thought at least abbey1227 would have an honest opinion for me, although I know I could count on it being cynical, but he's never shy with sharing his thoughts. Honestly, GG, I am not looking for a relationship. If it happens, it does, but I'm okay without one. I'm just looking for adventure, the way my title says. I, too, feel like I already experienced the love of my life. But I was 17 and he was 19. A beautiful boy who was just a beautiful person. His laughter was like music and he saw something in me no one else did. He saw what I could be. I'll never forget him for it and I have been having dreams about him for almost 30 years now. I ended it when we were still kids for reasons. They were good reasons. I kept tabs on him over the years. He married the girl who came after me and had a bunch of kids. It looks like a good life. I did the right thing. I still haven't made a decision about this. I don't sleep around and I don't understand today's swipe-left hook-up culture at all. But that doesn't mean I'm not being predatory . Men are the weaker sex when it comes to sex. I don't want to put him in a compromising position because we work for the same company. I do care about the guy. I'm afraid I might be starting to do this:  |
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Post by abbey1227 on Apr 19, 2023 6:59:18 GMT
I appreciate the reply. I was afraid maybe I had overshared. I thought at least abbey1227 would have an honest opinion for me, although I know I could count on it being cynical, but he's never shy with sharing his thoughts. Honestly, GG, I am not looking for a relationship. If it happens, it does, but I'm okay without one. I'm just looking for adventure, the way my title says. I, too, feel like I already experienced the love of my life. But I was 17 and he was 19. A beautiful boy who was just a beautiful person. His laughter was like music and he saw something in me no one else did. He saw what I could be. I'll never forget him for it and I have been having dreams about him for almost 30 years now. I ended it when we were still kids for reasons. They were good reasons. I kept tabs on him over the years. He married the girl who came after me and had a bunch of kids. It looks like a good life. I did the right thing. I still haven't made a decision about this. I don't sleep around and I don't understand today's swipe-left hook-up culture at all. But that doesn't mean I'm not being predatory . Men are the weaker sex when it comes to sex. I don't want to put him in a compromising position because we work for the same company. I do care about the guy. I'm afraid I might be starting to do this:
I haven't been checking into this site as often as I used to, sorry. No offense intended.
Am I really THAT cynical? I know towards political things yes..........but everything? I consider myself more upbeat and lighthearted than most. in person, anyway.
My advice is this: Do what you want. The power of the vagina rules. You talked about feelings in both directions there......but it also doesn't seem like that's the top priority here. If you're OK with a one time try it out kinda thing, then that's fine, too. Just use protection. And don't be shy about being blatantly honest with him. If he's mature at all, he'll likely greatly appreciate it. We men are easily steered that way.
If the workplace creates problems, make sure to take steps to avoid any conflicts in that regard. And also be 100% sure he's got no other 'obligations' already, if you know what I mean. Honesty all around is the best policy.
And as far as online dating goes....... I'm always kinda shocked people don't use it more. If I were single, and since I do not drink or drug, that'd be my best option, imo. I'd just have to weed thru the liars and catfishers. But at least there'd be more to it than pure happenstance of bumping into a possible bumping partner.
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Post by spitfire926f on Apr 19, 2023 7:42:56 GMT
I appreciate the reply. I was afraid maybe I had overshared. I thought at least abbey1227 would have an honest opinion for me, although I know I could count on it being cynical, but he's never shy with sharing his thoughts. Honestly, GG, I am not looking for a relationship. If it happens, it does, but I'm okay without one. I'm just looking for adventure, the way my title says. I, too, feel like I already experienced the love of my life. But I was 17 and he was 19. A beautiful boy who was just a beautiful person. His laughter was like music and he saw something in me no one else did. He saw what I could be. I'll never forget him for it and I have been having dreams about him for almost 30 years now. I ended it when we were still kids for reasons. They were good reasons. I kept tabs on him over the years. He married the girl who came after me and had a bunch of kids. It looks like a good life. I did the right thing. I still haven't made a decision about this. I don't sleep around and I don't understand today's swipe-left hook-up culture at all. But that doesn't mean I'm not being predatory . Men are the weaker sex when it comes to sex. I don't want to put him in a compromising position because we work for the same company. I do care about the guy. I'm afraid I might be starting to do this:
I haven't been checking into this site as often as I used to, sorry. No offense intended.
Am I really THAT cynical? I know towards political things yes..........but everything? I consider myself more upbeat and lighthearted than most. in person, anyway.
My advice is this: Do what you want. The power of the vagina rules. You talked about feelings in both directions there......but it also doesn't seem like that's the top priority here. If you're OK with a one time try it out kinda thing, then that's fine, too. Just use protection. And don't be shy about being blatantly honest with him. If he's mature at all, he'll likely greatly appreciate it. We men are easily steered that way.
If the workplace creates problems, make sure to take steps to avoid any conflicts in that regard. And also be 100% sure he's got no other 'obligations' already, if you know what I mean. Honesty all around is the best policy.
And as far as online dating goes....... I'm always kinda shocked people don't use it more. If I were single, and since I do not drink or drug, that'd be my best option, imo. I'd just have to weed thru the liars and catfishers. But at least there'd be more to it than pure happenstance of bumping into a possible bumping partner.
So you don't think I'm putting him in an unfair position with the work thing? That's my main concern. I wouldn't even consider it if he were still my direct supervisor. But since I'm on a different floor now... I'm always safe, I'm no dummy. |
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Post by abbey1227 on Apr 19, 2023 8:12:05 GMT
So you don't think I'm putting him in an unfair position with the work thing? That's my main concern. I wouldn't even consider it if he were still my direct supervisor. But since I'm on a different floor now... I'm always safe, I'm no dummy.
That is something to be direct and upfront about..........as in, "I've been thinking of throwing myself at you.......but I don't want to create any problems for you at work. Thoughts?"
Then it's in his court. If there's a risk involved, it's his choice.
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Post by spitfire926f on Apr 19, 2023 8:16:46 GMT
So you don't think I'm putting him in an unfair position with the work thing? That's my main concern. I wouldn't even consider it if he were still my direct supervisor. But since I'm on a different floor now... I'm always safe, I'm no dummy.
That is something to be direct and upfront about..........as in, "I've been thinking of throwing myself at you.......but I don't want to create any problems for you at work. Thoughts?"
Then it's in his court. If there's a risk involved, it's his choice.
That's the straight talk I knew I'd get from you. Thanks. |
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Post by abbey1227 on Apr 19, 2023 8:31:42 GMT
That is something to be direct and upfront about..........as in, "I've been thinking of throwing myself at you.......but I don't want to create any problems for you at work. Thoughts?"
Then it's in his court. If there's a risk involved, it's his choice.
That's the straight talk I knew I'd get from you. Thanks.
I'm remembering a tale about Sylvester Stallone being wooed by Brigitte Nielsen...........she sent him an envelope containing nude photos of herself and her hotel room #.
Apparently he ran to that hotel soon after receiving it.
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Post by gardengirl1953 on Apr 19, 2023 14:52:04 GMT
Same with me, but my flame days are over, at my age. No estrogen left, so I have no drive to work at a relationship. And my marriage was a good one; truly the best relationship of my life, and that was pure luck. So I stick to kittens and baby goats and dogs, their love is untainted and pure friendship, and that is all I need. I'd probably just screw up another attempt, which I did after my husband died. He wanted me to find someone, get married and be happy, as if that is how simple it is, and each of my choices fell far short and I just called it quits. But you are young, yet. Up to you to give it a try, and I hope, if you do, it goes well! I appreciate the reply. I was afraid maybe I had overshared. I thought at least abbey1227 would have an honest opinion for me, although I know I could count on it being cynical, but he's never shy with sharing his thoughts. Honestly, GG, I am not looking for a relationship. If it happens, it does, but I'm okay without one. I'm just looking for adventure, the way my title says. I, too, feel like I already experienced the love of my life. But I was 17 and he was 19. A beautiful boy who was just a beautiful person. His laughter was like music and he saw something in me no one else did. He saw what I could be. I'll never forget him for it and I have been having dreams about him for almost 30 years now. I ended it when we were still kids for reasons. They were good reasons. I kept tabs on him over the years. He married the girl who came after me and had a bunch of kids. It looks like a good life. I did the right thing. I still haven't made a decision about this. I don't sleep around and I don't understand today's swipe-left hook-up culture at all. But that doesn't mean I'm not being predatory . Men are the weaker sex when it comes to sex. I don't want to put him in a compromising position because we work for the same company. I do care about the guy. I'm afraid I might be starting to do this: If it makes you feel any better, I can relate to the spinning and pacing! You will do the right thing, you are a good person and you genuinely care about this guy as a person! |
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